Frustration is really common for the average caregiver. A big part of that frustration is often not having the help that you need or want. If you can temper your feelings and pay attention to your process of asking for help, you can accomplish more toward that end than you might think.
Lose the Notion that You Shouldn’t Have to Ask
Whether your family is close or you don’t talk all that much, you still have to get over the idea that you shouldn’t have to ask them to help you. They aren’t mind readers any more than you are. Until you let them know that you need help, they have no way of knowing that. When you do finally let go of the idea that they should just know that you need help and what kind of help to offer, you can get a lot farther.
Get Specific and Clear about the Ask
The act of asking for help from the people in your life needs to be as specific as you can make it. You might even need to get clear with yourself about what you need and want. Map out the details and then break down bigger tasks to ask others to pitch in. by the time you’re actually asking for assistance, you’ll know exactly what needs doing and how you need it done.
Be Realistic, While You’re at It
While you’re getting clear about the help that you need, you need to ensure that you’re being realistic, too. If a project or task is way too big or too far out of the skill set of the person you’re asking for help, they’re less likely to either be willing to help or to meet your expectations when they do help. The more realistic you can get with your help requests, the more likely you’ll be able to fill those needs.
Your Frustration Is Valid, but Might Not Help
Ultimately, your feelings of frustration are definitely valid. There are viable reasons you’re feeling the way that you’re feeling. But expressing that frustration when you don’t get the help that you need, especially to the people you want to help you, may not net you what you need. They might help out of guilt, but that’s not always reliable help.
When you change how you approach asking for help you can start to get the help that you need. Part of being a caregiver is knowing who can help you and what you need them to do for you. As you practice doing this more often, you’ll get better at it and your general frustration levels should start to go down.
If you or an aging loved one are considering caregivers in Ewing, NJ, please call the caring staff at Care Street Home Care. You can reach our Mercer/Burlington Division at (609) 496-5666.
Dr. Shelly, as he is fondly known, has served as an Alzheimer’s Support Group Facilitator in Mercer County and is a Certified Dementia Instructor. Knowledgeable, compassionate, and unusually devoted, his guidance is crucial in helping families understand their options and render decisions for their loved ones’ care plan. Dr. Shelly’s extensive experience, sincere and pleasant demeanor, and professional affiliations have made him a vital asset to Care Street.
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