You may have expressed to your senior that it’s time to think about having her change her living situation in some way but found that her response was more stubborn than you expected. Aging in place is an important desire and if your elderly family member has stated that’s what she wants, here are some reasons she might feel that way.
It’s Her Home
Your senior may want to age in place simply because she can and because she wants to be in her home. Moving is not an enjoyable process for most people and if your senior has lived in the same home for many years, she may have decided long ago that she wouldn’t be moving again. There are specific routines that your elderly family member is committed to and she may not be willing to adjust those unless something absolutely forces her hand.
Independence Is a Powerful Motivator
Your senior may find that it’s incredibly important to her to remain as independent as she can. Accepting regular help now and again from you and from elderly care providers is one thing but having help beyond that or moving in with you full-time might feel like too much for her. This might be a situation that requires you to tread lightly in case she feels that her independence is being threatened.
She Controls What Goes On
For some aging adults, control is a big deal. This goes a little bit deeper than just independence, too. Your elderly family member can have a say in exactly what modifications are made and not made to her home, which might be an important aspect of all of this for her. Changes like installing a series of handrails or adding a chair lift for the stairway are big ones and she may be more open to those ideas than she is to moving, even if she’s avoided these ideas in the past.
The Urge to Avoid Being a Burden Is Real
You can’t downplay the fact that most aging adults are very concerned about being seen as a burden by the people that they love. This is a very real concern and one that your senior is likely to take incredibly seriously. Many of her decisions can be linked to this fear, especially the ones that seem to you as if they don’t make much sense.
Whether you still agree with your senior or not, it’s certainly possible that aging in place could be a reasonable move for her. This is especially true if she’s able to rely on help from you and from elderly care providers. If things change and her situation becomes much worse, your compromise could be that you’ll both revisit the idea of her moving.
If you or an aging loved one are considering elderly care in South River, NJ, contact the caring staff at Care Street Home Care’s Ocean/Monmouth Division. Call today 732-719-7011.
Dr. Shelly, as he is fondly known, has served as an Alzheimer’s Support Group Facilitator in Mercer County and is a Certified Dementia Instructor. Knowledgeable, compassionate, and unusually devoted, his guidance is crucial in helping families understand their options and render decisions for their loved ones’ care plan. Dr. Shelly’s extensive experience, sincere and pleasant demeanor, and professional affiliations have made him a vital asset to Care Street.
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