Lying to a parent always seems wrong. When your parent has Alzheimer’s, lying is often the only way to get through the day. It’s the one time when lying is often better than trying to stick with the truth.
The Alzheimer’s Golden Rule
Any Alzheimer’s specialist will tell you to go to your parent’s reality and step out of yours. That’s the main reason lying is a skill you’ll have to develop. If your parent’s reality is that the neighbor is evil and looking in windows, you need to address your parent’s feelings rather than what you know to be true.
You don’t have to call the neighbor evil as you parent does. Instead, address the fear your parent must feel. Turn the talk to thoughts of being sorry and wanting to know what it will take to make your parent feel safe at all hours. You might need to install a new lock or buy new window shades, but you’re not trying to draw your parent out of his or her reality.
You can also distract from the issue at hand. If your dad insists that he has to go to work, agree with him and tell him he needs to have breakfast and coffee first. Once he’s eaten, he’ll likely have forgotten all about work. He’ll be ready for whatever the next activity on your daily schedule is.
Why Not Be Truthful?
Your parent really believes what he or she is saying. The brain has them convinced what the experienced is real. If you try to correct your parent, you’re going to be met with anger and frustration. Your parent will argue that you’re wrong and often shut down. Your insistence on the truth will end up with your parent lashing out and potentially injuring someone with words or physical actions.
Even if you decide to be your mom or dad’s caregiver, make sure you take time for yourself. You’re not going to be able to bring your parent to your medical or dental appointments. You need breaks to go out with friends and family, too. This keeps you from burning out and eases any frustrations you have while providing elderly care.
Respite care services make it possible to take breaks while knowing your parent is safe at home. Elderly care services can also help with bathing, grooming, meal preparation, and transportation. Call an elderly care agency to arrange Alzheimer’s care for your parent.
If you or an aging loved one are considering elderly care in Cranford, NJ, please contact the caring staff at Care Street Home Care of New Brunswick today. Call (732) 607-8870.
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