How Can You Be a Good Caregiver When You've Got a Bad Relationship with Your Aging Adult?

If you’ve had a rocky relationship with your aging adult, you might worry about whether you can be a good caregiver to her at all. This isn’t a frivolous worry, but it’s going to take some extra work on your part.

Separate “Then” from “Now”

Many caregivers go through a difficult time or entire lifetime with their aging adult and never expect to have to deal with that person again. And then something happens or their elderly family member falls ill. In order to provide the care that your aging adult needs, you’re going to have to firmly divide your prior experiences from your current ones.

Work through Your Issues

If it’s at all possible, work through the remaining issues that you have with your senior. In fact, you may have believed for years that you were over whatever happened, only to find yourself in this situation and realizing that things are just as bad. If your elderly family member can’t work through the issues with you, do it on your own and with a therapist, if you can.

Give up Perfection

Believe it or not, all caregivers worry about being a perfect caregiver. You also have to give up this notion. Instead, remember that sometimes good enough truly is good enough and let it go. You’re not going to be able to be perfect, especially if your aging adult is the one demanding perfection.

Accept What Is

There’s a lot of acceptance involved in caregiving, even for caregivers who have had good relationships with their aging adults over the years. Learn how to accept what the situation is right now instead of wishing and hoping it were different.

Take Yourself out of the Line of Fire

Every caregiver needs time away, but you especially. If the situation and the relationship are difficult, you need time to yourself to breathe and to recuperate. Hire elderly care providers and take afternoons away. The more you’re able to remove yourself from the line of fire, the easier it will be to respond clearly when you have to make decisions.

Just because you have a difficult relationship with your elderly family member, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be a good caregiver to her. Deal with each issue as it comes up and remember to take care of your needs, too.

If you or an aging loved one are considering elderly care in East Brunswick, NJ, please contact the caring staff at Care Street Home Care of New Brunswick today. Call (732) 607-8870.